Monday, June 21, 2010

And Then She Said, "Bye Bye"

Is it a bruise I see? Or just an evil shadow cast on her face? She smiles as I wish to touch her to know what that dark aura is about. I reach out, touch her pale alabaster face. It feels cold and she flinches not. I poke and prod, but all she does is sneer unfeelingly and all I do is feel smooth indifference

She seems familiar though, some one I used to know... But the eyes had love in them. The lips had curved in warmth then. The hands had always reached out to help sincerely. The heartfelt words and tender embraces had healed numerous broken hearts, mended minds maimed by misunderstandings, warded away despair and soothed pained bosoms.

She no longer seems the same. I try to find her, but she is lost in the maze of betrayal. Her thoughts made sense only to her. Her life made sense only to her. To confirm and to believe she wanted, only to her ideals. But her ideals were not meant for the people who made her world. She searched for that soul who would know her, love her and be hers for who she was. All she found were illusions of understanding and of love. Her heart broken and trampled upon innumerable times, what defines her now is cynicism, sarcasm and satire.

She is now the hardened by the expectations that others use to define her, yet she wants to be vulnerable. She defines herself with her rigid beliefs that she would willingly soften for a little understanding and respect for who she is. She wishes for dreams to come true in a world that seems too practical and set in logical equations for "Give and take" doesn't really define her relationships.

Just as it strikes me who I am looking at, the stony facade drops just that little bit and I catch a glimpse of sadness. But before I can ask her to stay, she hurriedly leaves and I lose sight of my soul, buried deep under expectations, conventions and societal norms. All that remains is the pale, unflinching, unfeeling, sneering cold visage.

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